


Mind & Matter

by Ballycastle_Bat



Series: Olivarry [1]
Category: Arrow (TV 2012), The Flash (TV 2014)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Barry Allen has PTSD, Bed-Wetting, Bisexual Barry Allen, Bisexual Oliver Queen, Childhood Trauma, Dc doesn't follow it's own canon why should I, Disabled Character, M/M, Medical Conditions, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Self-Acceptance, Self-Doubt, Slow Burn, Slow Dancing, Spans High School to College, Spoonie Oliver, Struggle with Happy ending, Tender Sex, Tenderness, Triggers, Working Out My Feelings Through Fic, internalized ableism, most of my fics are catharsis at this point I'm sorry
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-12-11
Updated: 2019-12-11
Packaged: 2021-02-25 20:47:42
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,064
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21571693
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ballycastle_Bat/pseuds/Ballycastle_Bat
Summary: When the active and sporty nerd Barry Allen meets Oliver Queen in the hospital a friendship blooms. Oliver, is recovering from an accident which left him permanently disabled. He worries Barry will breeze right past him once their out of the hospital and Barry is worried Oliver will see past his sunny exterior.
Relationships: Barry Allen/Oliver Queen
Series: Olivarry [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1554625
Comments: 4
Kudos: 46





	Mind & Matter

**Author's Note:**

> [[Warnings: At the start of each chapter.  
> Notes: Oliver suffering from nerve damage and other complications that are unspecified. Doctors not knowing 100% what's going on isn't a cop out, it's just kinda meant to be reflective of medical realities, sometimes doctors just don't know. While I don't have as many medical struggles as Oliver I know what it's like to be a big fat question mark when it comes to health. Barry Allen has ADHD and PTSD  
> Acknowledgements: Big thank you to my lovely sensitivity readers in the writers discord I'm in.]]

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [[Warnings: Lots of medical stuff, some discussions of ableism. Ableist words/slurs implied. Everyone doing their best. Barry Allen is too much sunshine.  
> Notes: The comics stuff isn't supposed to make complete sense as they're not based on real comics and I think my ADHD brain just got carried away with wanting them to talk about something.]]

Barry Allen was about the make the drive down to the nearby game shop when he decided to call his friend Oliver Queen. He set the phone on the seat next to him; dialing.  
  
A tired voice answered. "Hello?"  
  
“Hey, Ollie! You’re on speaker because I just got in the car. I’m going to pick up Alien Wars II. I can pick you up on the way if you want to come with.”  
  
Oliver Queen was currently in bed, wrapped up in his blankets. It was noon and he still hadn’t moved. A dull ache scorched through his legs in excruciatingly slow waves. Friday had taken so much from him; Barry had so many friends. They always wanted to talk, and run around, and _talk_.

Oliver closed his eyes. He _liked_ Barry, liked having him around, liked his adventures. The only barrier was that Oliver just didn’t have anything to give today. “I’m sorry, Barr. I’m just-- not really in the shape to go out today.”

He often worried that Barry would move on from him. Barry was so active. Everything was now, now, now. Oliver, on the other hand, was ‘I need a minute’.  
  
“That’s fine! You’re at home?”

“Yeah,”-- and after a moment of hesitation he admitted-- “My legs hurt.” He shrugged it off, not really sure how to explain further. Barry didn’t ask, and Oliver wasn’t sure what to think about that.

When the ended the call, Oliver thought that was the end of it. He settled into his blue blanket cocoon. His shoulder putting up only a little bit of a fight. He could tell it was starting to tighten up again though. That happened from time to time, another thing the doctors didn’t fully understand but had given him vague words for. Soon it would be difficult to lift his right shoulder at all. Even if he would be able to, it would feel uncomfortably taut at all times.

However, less than an hour later there was a knock on the doorframe. “Hey, Ollie! I got your coffee order.” he set the coffee on the side table. “Miss Raisa let me in. She’s a nice lady.” he glided into the room when he got the go-ahead. Somehow managing to drag all the sunshine in the world with him when he did.

“Yeah, she is. She thinks I’m a good kid though, so I question her judgement sometimes.” He laughed a little.  
  
Barry laughed with him. “I gave Thea some of the candy I got at FuzzyWigs I hope that’s fine.”

“Totally fine, mom won't even notice.” he laughed. “I’ll pay you back.”

Barry waved him off. “It was a five dollar bag of gummy worms don’t even worry about it.” he moved to set up the game on Oliver’s PlayStation. When he came back he passed Oliver a controller and nodded to the bed. “Can I grab an end?

“Totally,” Oliver scooched over a bit. “You can sit against the headboard with me.”

Barry moved to seat himself on the other side of Oliver’s huge bed. There was just enough room for both of them. The game played just as smoothly as it’s previous installment, despite being a new release. The two settled into a comfortable togetherness.

The comfort surprised Oliver. The only other person he felt this at peace with was Tommy Merlyn, and they had known each other since childhood. He had only met Barry about a year ago.

**One Year Ago**

  
Oliver woke up alone in a recovery room. Sixteen. He wasn’t quite sure where he was yet, and he wished he’d seen a familiar face. Instead a gangly teen entered the room. “Hey, you’re awake!” he waved. “I’m Barry.” He turned around and went across the way to the nurses station.

“Hi?” Oliver replied, wincing when he pulled his arm in a direction it disagreed with. He could vaguely hear Barry letting the nurse know that his roommate was awake.  
  
Barry sat himself on his own bed when he returned. “I let them know you’re up so they can call your family.” He grinned widely, and it almost put Oliver off.  
  
“Thanks.” His reply was a bit short as he leaned back into the pillows. He wondered how long he would be sharing a room with him. He was so perky it hurt. “You seem fine, why are you here?”  
  
“Well, I’ve got bladder stones really bad and they did lithotripsy-- that’s where they shoot these waves at you and hope it shatters the stones--” He went on, overly animated about the procedure. “but now I’m waiting for surgery because that didn’t work.”  
  
“That’s cool.” Oliver replied dully. “I fell off a roof.” If he were being honest, he would have admitted he stopped listening after _lithotripsy_ .  
  
Barry scrunched up his nose. “That sucks.”

Soon Oliver’s family appeared and separated them for a while. Barry had felt bad for how Oliver’s parents reacted. They were concerned but also seemed to be mad at him. It made Barry wonder what had happened surrounding the incident.  
  
The next day changed things though. When Oliver was woken up for his vitals he tiredly glanced over to see Barry talking to his nurse. “Good morning Janet! How’s your daughter?”

“She’s fine, Barry. Are you feeling nervous about your surgery today?” She asked as she wrapped the blood pressure cuff around his arm. 

“No, Dr. Adams took my tonsils out when I was seven. I like her!”  
  
Oliver chuckled at that but his nurse distracted him. “Alright, honey, I need to take your temperature.” He didn’t know her name.  
  
Oliver let her put the thermometer in his mouth though he was still just barely awake. When she was dine taking his blood pressure manually at the wrist (Left arm was broken, right had a cut too deep for that kind of pressure). She left. Ollie looked tiredly over at Barry. “How are you so awake?”

“Morning, Oliver!” Barry grinned. “Oh, I don’t sleep well in hospitals. It’s never comfy enough.”  
  
The hospital was dead for the most part. The only noise was the shuffling and whispers of the shift change. Not that Oliver paid much attention. He reached over to the buttons beside his bed and started to push him into a more seated position. “How do you know your nurse's name?”

“Oh, I work with Janet all the time. She’s great! I have an IEP at school so I have a life skills class and we come here all the time. They kind of have us help with minor stuff. Mostly I set stuff up in the store room but sometimes they let me read in geriatrics.”

“What’s _Geriy--what_?”

“It’s where elderly people are treated.”

Oliver nodded slowly. 

They were interrupted when Iris appeared. “Barry! I brought your comics.”

Oliver picked up. “Do you read Shadowmoray?”

“I own every issue.” Barry grinned. “Iris just picked up the new one for me. We can read together later!” and they did. They spent hours after Iris left trading theories and lore.  
  
“Please don’t think I’m weird, but I think Harry is gay.” Barry said with some hesitance as they poured over the new issue. “There was that Thanksgiving issue where he said he didn’t feel like he should go home.” he started trying to explain himself. “I mean, there’s more too. There was that whole thing with Lady Blanc, where he was the only person not distracted by her too.”  
  
Barry’s nerves increased. “I’m sorry I said anything, but yeah, there was also the episode with his sister and that conversation had just really felt like there was some kind of closure going on.”

“Dude, chill.” Oliver laughed. “I think he’s gay too.”

“Oh, okay.” He felt a heat in his face. “You never know with people, you know?”

“Yeah, I get it. Harry is one hundred percent gay. I’m kind of hoping for him to have something with Klark,” Oliver went on, turning away from Barry with difficulty to cough.  
  
“You’re a Klarry shipper?” Barry smirked at him.

Oliver rolled his eyes. “I just think it would be nice to read, okay?”  
  
“I’m just teasing you, I’ve thought about them. Wishful thinking though. The author doesn’t really seem to handle any kind of romance well. They tend to go for the most dramatic, which is to be expected. Though it’s always … the only thing about them? We get one main romance, and then one side relationship which we just get one page about every 3 issues to remind us ‘yeah, they’re still here’.”

“Jenna and Ted are decent are absolutely insufferable,” Oliver declared without hesitation. “The fact that they get six or more pages an issues almost makes me quit the series, but the side characters are too good.”

“Jenna is kinda abusive.” Barry shrugged. “I mean, it’s fiction but I’d like to read something more relaxed sometimes from this author because they’re really good. Like … this is the couple we’re supposed to be rooting for? Jenna is extremely controlling, and he’s never done anything to make her not trust him. Remember when she accused him of wanting to be alone with JetSet when he put them on seperate teams _once_ ?”  
  
“He literally sent the stealth experts one place and the tanks to the front. There were at least eleven of them, but she made it about Ted being alone with JetSet? How were they alone?”

Oliver had to agree. “Ah, you’re right. That was really weird. There was also the time when he was bleeding out and she was just talking about JetSet. If they were setting something up with that, you’d think they would have addressed it by now, no?”

“It’s kind of a let down because all the platonic relationships are amazing. Like take a look at Jenna and her older brother Mike. Also, when Ted and Jenna broke up, he went to live with Deadzone and she and him were so close, but it never felt _romantic_ . Not even for a minute. I really loved that scene where they were having hot chocolate at two AM. They just talked the whole night-- it was really sweet. Reminded me of me and my closest friends. They were physically affectionate too without any romantic undertones.”  
  
“That’s my favourite arc! Honestly, all of the best stuff happened in the issues during Ted and Jenna’s breakup.”  
  
“The romantic relationships don’t feel like relationships” he started, looking for the right words. “They feel like two people kissing and fighting. Which would be fine if we knew _why_ they liked each other, but we don’t. We just see ‘this is my girlfriend, I hate her and she hates me, isn’t that a love story for the ages?’” 

Oliver laughed so hard that he began to cough, and Barry’s hand shot out, finding perch on an uninjured part of his arm. “Are you okay?” his free hand passed Oliver his water from the side table.  
  
Oliver accepted the glass. “I’m fine. You’re absolutely right though. They’ve been together since page two, three hundred issues later and they’re still one of the biggest faults of the series. I don’t even want to see them anymore.”

They ended up diverging into the lore until a team came in. They wheeled Oliver into surgery prep. He would receive a few more during his hospital stay.

Barry would often sneak away from his work program to read comics to (and later with) Oliver. They seemed to grow close in a short time. When Oliver was released form the hospital he was welcomed into Barry’s friend group with open arms. This didn’t stop Oliver from worrying about keeping up with Barry though; he was so sure Barry would speed ahead without him, but he never did.

**Present**

The day was very laid back even after that. Barry didn’t even seem put off. “Do you want to go sit outside for a little bit?” Oliver suggested after they’d played for a while.

“Sure, if you’re feeling up for it we can,” he shot Oliver another grin. “If you’re feeling kind of cooped up we could drive around for a bit? Get some food.” then Bary seemed to remember something. “If you’re not too sure how you feel, we can see how you feel when we get downstairs.”  
  
Oliver nodded and pulled his chair a little closer to the bed. After locking the wheel he did a speedy transfer. Though Oliver still had some use of his legs and was getting stronger, it was easier than standing and pivoting into his chair. Barry got the door and followed Oliver out. He took a different direction than Barry came in from, but he didn’t question it.

Following Oliver leading, Barry strolled behind him, not really sure where they were going. He wondered to himself if the Queens installed an elevator somewhere. Based on the house and the talk about the Queens, he wouldn’t be shocked. They came to a back staircase that had a small lift on it. Against the wall at the bottom was a folded wheelchair.  
  
Oliver transferred to the lift. The surface area of the stair-lift was a bit smaller than his chair, so he struggled slightly. “My mom didn’t want to put in an elevator because the house is historical.” he rolled his eyes. “I hate this thing.” He didn’t like Barry seeing him struggle with it. It made him feel a bit _stupid_.

The staircase was wide enough for Barry to walk down beside him. He kept up with the slow pace of the lift, not in any hurray. “I’m sorry to hear that.” He _wanted_ to make a comment about the elevator, but he admittedly didn’t know if he could make comments about Oliver’s mother in front of him.

Oliver had never felt an anxiety like this before, but there he was, worrying about keeping up with everyone. When they reached the bottom, Barry took the chair at the bottom and started to open it.  
  
“I’ve got it.” Oliver said firmly and pushed the chair the rest of the way open, making sure it clicked at the back. Then he transferred. They made it to the desk, where they stayed. It was later when Tommy showed up with Laurel, and it was soon clear to Oliver that he wasn’t going to have the energy to go out.  
  
Tommy jabbed a thumb in the direction of the front of the house. “I can drive us all to Big Belly Burger. I got a new car so Ollie’s chair can fit in the back.”

“I’m not really sure I’m up for that.” Oliver admitted.  
  
“Ugh, buzzkill.” Tommy complained and Laurel stomped on his foot.  
  
“I mean I _can_ go I guess--” Laurel had cut him off though.  
  
“Oliver, if you’re too tired, you’re too tired. Barry, how about you and Tommy go. I want to hang out with my boyfriend for a bit.”  
  
Barry looked at Oliver. “If you want some time with Laurel, I can leave.” He offered halfheartedly, he liked Tommy but he had intended to spend time with Oliver. He didn’t want to just ditch him because he couldn’t go somewhere with them.

“That sounds good.” Oliver pulled his wallet from his jeans and passed it to Barry. “Tommy knows what Laurel and I eat.

“Okay,” Barry agreed reluctantly. 

“Tommy and I got some comics!” Laurel smiled gleefully. Truthfully, she’d never been very interested in comics. “We found a bunch of superheroes in wheelchairs. Professor-X, Doctor Faustus, Professor Lockdown, Professor Deadmine, Doctor Levitus--”

Oliver frowned. “All of those besides Professor-X are villains...” he knew they meant well, but this wasn’t helping. Laurel and Tommy were never into comic books. “Thanks though, lets just hang out here for a while.”  
  
“Okay.”

Oliver attempted to move to the bed but Laurel reached out to help him so he put an arm up. “I got it, thanks.” Tommy was the worst with trying to help him. Though, Tommy felt a bit guilty about the situation; he’d been there for the accident, he called the ambulance. He’d also moved Oliver, which the paramedics had told him after was dangerous.  
  
Oliver didn’t harbour ill feelings towards Tommy though. He might not even be alive if Tommy hadn’t done something. Laurel seemed to act like everything was the same, apart from the comic books she hadn’t really discussed the accident, or Oliver’s chair. Which Oliver was both partially happy about but also wondered what was going through Laurel’s head. Tommy made jokes in times of stress, Laurel became stone.

* * *

At Big Belly Burger, Tommy was pretty chatty with Barry. “The doctors want Oliver on this like, disabled diet,” he spoke so fast that Barry almost didn’t catch that he didn’t catch that he did not say ‘disabled’. “just while he recovers, you know? Something about energy and stuff. Lower salt to prevent other issues. We ignore that a lot though.”  
  
“Tommy, I know you tend to make light with Oliver and just-- say stuff-- but you shouldn’t say stuff like that in mixed-company.” He tried not to be judgemental, as he heard Oliver talk like that too. Which wasn’t really his place to correct him on.  
  
“Which part?”

“Mostly your word choice,” Barry explained. “The c word is pretty heavy for a lot of people.”  
  
“Oh,” Tommy covered his mouth. “Sorry, Barr. That’s how Oliver talks all the time, we don’t treat that like it’s ‘bad’ so I didn’t know I shouldn’t say it. Anyway, Oliver refuses to do that group therapy shit the doc recommended too. I always end up springing him and we go for shakes.”

Barry blinked, it was honestly a better response that he expected. For a moment he felt a bit bad for expecting Tommy to be an ass about it, but he knew how Brock and Brad Cooper had responded when he asked him not to say certain things about his own struggles. “Right.” he nodded and they go in line.  
  
When they returned, Oliver and Laurel were sitting awkwardly on opposite sides of the bed. Barry didn’t ask, he knew better. He just set down the big belly burger bags and found some open space. He left soon after lunch though, the awkward air between Oliver and Laurel was so heavy that he figured he should leave them to sort it out.


End file.
